"up to?": unravelling centuries of courting tradition in two words or less.

I am not a fan of mass texts. Similarly, I am not a fan of email forwards.
In fact, I am not a fan of any type of communication that isn't personally addressed to me for a specific and succinct purpose.

I, for example, would never text someone - let alone my entire cellphone contacts list - "up to?" motivated by boredom, in a bid to start conversation. I would also never initiate this conversation at 3am (unless I'm drunk, then obviously all bets are off) and expect a reply that doesn't start with a swear word and end in 'off'.

It's not that I think I'm too cool - I do not suffer from delusions that I am above the basic social practices of wider society. I just don't get it. Why do you care what I'm doing when I never see you, we rarely talk and to be honest, I really don't care what you're doing? It's completely beyond me that this is how you would choose to spend your free time (as opposed to anonymously ranting to your imaginary fanbase via blogger - point taken).

So you can imagine how disgruntled I am at the prospect of text messages being used as invites for something less than innocent. Talk about eliminating all remnants of chivalry and common decency. Not too long ago, before cellphone use was socially mandatory, the humble 'up to' text could have a breadth of meanings: What are you doing? Wanna hang out? Wanna get some food? Let's do something.

Social evolution however has seen it translated in many cases into meaning "Let's do something I'm too lazy to make an effort to have a relationship with you for" or in plain English as the booty call of the 00's - "Let's have sex". But how did we get from there to here? How did something so completely innocent become something so completely...not?

I mean I realise that this new tech era has encouraged communication that is all about efficacy and minimum effort but quite frankly I'm offended by it. As any girl who's ever known a boy with a cellphone knows, "Up to?" does not just mean "Hi what are you doing?" Nor does it mean "This is a sign that I'm thinking about you" as so many girls like to tell themselves. It's not even really a conversation starter anymore. As we've found (through extensive research) this phrase has now become synonymous with "I'm bored and probably drunk, if you're alone want to come over?"

Even less flattering is the mass 'up to' commonly received in the early hours of Sunday morning in the dying embers of a boys drink up at so-and-so's house and directed to any and all female members of their cellular phone book.

I'm not sure what kind of girl is dumb enough to respond to these messages but I know for a fact there are those who do. And while I'm all for the power of free choice, you can't answer an 'up to?' and then act surprised that all he wants from you is exactly what you just gave him. I dunno, I guess I'm just more for boys showing at least a little effort when it comes to the romantic sector of my life. I know it's going a little far to expect you to send a letter to my father (by horse, naturally) asking permission to call on me but surely a phone call at a decent hour or a trip to the movies hasn't become completely obsolete yet?  
If it has I'm joining the convent tomorrow.

Lesson Ten:  Show some pride.

Happy Sunday x